Will tries to justify his wrong doings with a bunch of excuses but in this monologue he hears himself talk enough to slowly recognize his own b.s.

WILL:  You wanna know what it is?  You see, I never grew up with a father.  You know why?  Cause he was murdered.  Got shot up during a drug deal.  He ran down the stairs into a deli and died calling my brother’s name.

So you wanna know what it is?  It’s that.  Not having a father and me trying to be my own man without having that guidance.  Looking for it in my cousins, in my friends, in my uncles.  And I always try to look up to one of them but somehow it always backfires.  They will do something wrong and I will look at them different.  So I pick another father figure.

So, I got tired of it and now I try to do edgy stuff to show what I can do and so I can have respect on my own.