Blanket Thief

In the short monologue, Blanket Thief, Keith complains about how his girlfriend keeps stealing the blanket sheets throughout the night.

KEITH:  I can’t.  Every night it’s the same thing and every morning it’s the same story.  I wake up cold, shivering from the freezing air because she’s a thief in the night.  Every night she robs the blanket right off my body.

It’s why I’ve developed this random cough.  (coughs) My lungs can’t take the pressure.  I haven’t had satisfied rest in months.  Ever since she moved in here and I can’t take it anymore.  Maybe this whole moving in thing was a bad idea.  I’ve told her a billion times and she says she doesn’t know she is doing it cause she’s sleeping.  I mean, there’s worse things in life but I need to sleep better.  What am I supposed to do?

Joseph Arnone

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