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Breaking Out of the Funk

In this comedic monologue, KELLY is absolutely bored to death and has no way of breaking out of the funk she currently exists in.

Kelly:  I am so bored.  Bored to death.

(staring out at nothing)

There is nothing.  Absolutely nothing going on.  Not a breeze, not a smile, not a damn thing.  Just thoughts.  Aimless thoughts amounting to nothing but more aimless thoughts divided and multiplied again by more aimless thoughts.

Round thoughts.  Square thoughts.  Pear shaped thoughts.

Thoughts with no meaning.  Just babble, babble, babble dee doo.  All day long.  Jumping through hoops and gobbledygook.

Maybe I’m finally going insane.  Has it happened?  Is today the day when my brain goes click?  No.  I don’t think so.  If I were crazy, I wouldn’t be so calm.  I don’t think I’m the calm and crazy type.  Probably one of those loud and physically active types of crazy.

Maybe this is the first stage.  Maybe it’s all just silence, until I slowly begin to fill in all this amazing quiet.

What a shit day.  Truly.  This has to be the most boring day of my life.

(makes weird noise)

Mmmmmrrrraaaahhhhhgggggle!!!

Wow.  Just caught my own breath.  There’s something.  There’s a thing to do.  Brush my teeth.  I’ll go brush my breath.  Something to do.  Damn.

(sighs)

Joseph Arnone

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