Checking All The Boxes

In Checking All The Boxes, Grandpa P talks to his Granddaughter about how she needs to take things slow with the current boy she’s been dating.

Grandpa Po:  I don’t know what’s gotten into you but I must say that the boy you are dating is a waste of time.  I’m not going to tell you who to date and you will probably hate me for saying this but I’m sorry, I can’t curb my sadness but that boy, Michael or Mike as he’s called, that guy is a load of baloney.

I never met such a dishonest kid and I call him a kid cause I’m old enough to be his Grandfather…I’ve never, in all my life, I’ve never saw someone talking out of their ass as much as this young fella.

First, he wants to be a bank president and then he’s talking to me about starting up his own golf club business…the boy has never even held a golf club, what business does he have thinking he can get into the business of making golf clubs.

I have no problems with ambition, nothing like seeing an ambitious young man but when it falls into dreamland, then I have something to say about it.

He makes no sense.  Spoke to him about some business 101, just to see how sharp he is and he is as dull as a dagger handle without it’s blade.

I’m sorry…I must have gone and done it.  I can tell by the look of your face…I…aw hell, I have high hopes for you, I do.  Such a pretty young lady you’ve turned out to be, you’re smart, feisty and kind…and I’m proud of you, so proud of you that I can be brought to tears…

…I don’t want any fool to get in the way of your life.  I’m not saying you’re going to marry this fella but I’m only giving you a heads up on him…I’ve been around a long time to know…I’m sure you think he’s charming and funny and hardworking but sweetheart, all I see is a dope.

I have to tell you cause I don’t want to lie to you.  We’ve always been truthful with one another, haven’t we?  (beat) Well, alright then…

You are old enough to make your own decisions and you need to take this one real slow.  Long shots are far and few but they do happen on occasion.  Who knows?

Just be cautious and don’t let your heart lead you astray, unless he checks all the boxes, which I hope you keep watch on.

Joseph Arnone


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