Comfort Food

In the drama monologue Comfort Food, Emily talks about how she wishes she was looked at more for who she truly is, than who she’s truly not.

EMILY:  Okay, I’ll give you one.  Let’s take you for instance.  You’ve viewed me as a loser for how many years now?  (beat)  No, wait, just chill, we’re just talking.

You’ve had this perspective of me for quite some time…let’s be honest.  I’ve always been curious as to why and where this point of view comes from…was it something I did to you way back when or is it an accumulation of your own inner negative thoughts of me, that play on you enough to manifest this image of who I am right now?

Are you still with me?  I don’t want to get too wordy on you.  I’ll try to talk simple.  Is that okay?

I realize that you are so jealous of me it hurts for you to breathe when you hear anything good about me.

And if we’re really being honest here, it breaks my heart.  I wish you could love me enough to be proud of me because I do a lot of good things for a lot of people and I’m a decent person and there’s so much to me that I wish you really knew about because whatever it is you think you know about me…it doesn’t exist, that’s not it…

You want to hold on to the old stuff, to what you think you know cause you’ve carried it around for so long.  It’s like rotten comfort food.   You will keep eating away at it because you’re familiar with the taste, even though it’s bad for you.

I’m the one in your life you love to hate because of who I am in your mind.  Isn’t that something?  Maybe I am serving my purpose for you in that way, but it doesn’t sound so good, does it?

I’ll continue being this great big loser because you refuse to see me for who I really am and I assure you, I am no loser but there’s no way of you ever truly feeling that because you’ve closed the blinders, you only let so much light in.

I’ve always been such an idiot when it comes to my heart…the good always wins out in me…that’s why I’m always getting in trouble, going places I shouldn’t go but have to go, must go…maybe now I’ve said too much but there it is and here I am and that’s just the way this has to be.

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Joseph Arnone