Crime Scene

Deep in the woods, Perry, Wilsa and Barney examine a crime scene and its surrounding area in the rain. Short scene with 3 characters and one exterior location. 1 woman, 2 men.

Crime Scene

Perry: (to Wilsa) Where’s Barney?  (to Barney) Hey!  Barney!  (under his breath)  Dumb son of a bitch.  (pause.)  What you doing out there by that tree?

Barney walks over to Perry and Wilsa.

Barney: I was just looking around.

Perry: Looking for what?

Barney: I don’t know, just thought maybe there’d be somethin’ there is all.

Perry: Now why would there be something all the way over there when the crime scene is all the way over here?

Barney: You always say to look outside the box and all—

Perry: Think! It’s think outside the box. I ain’t ever say LOOK outside the box.

Barney: Oh, I thought you said–

Perry: Shut the hell up. Let me ask you, did you find anything way over there?

Barney: Just some rock and dirt and bark and uh, uh I don’t know what you call this here…

Barney holds up a thong.

Perry: What is that?

Barney: Don’t know what you call it.

Perry: That a thong?

Barney: What’s a thong?

Perry: A thong! Women’s underwear.

Barney: Sounds Chinese.

Perry: Now you an Asian expert? Give me that!

Perry snatches the thong from Barney’s hands and inspects it.

Barney: Uh, it’s got blood on it.

Perry: So it does. Now, probably some woman on her time of the month or it’s related to this here situation.

Barney: How you gonna tell the time from that thong thing? Is there a way to, you know, uh, is there a way—

Perry: Go on, ask it. I can’t even imagine what kind a question you struggling to put together. Go on.

Barney: Uh…it’s okay.

Perry: It’s okay? Well, I’m glad it’s okay. This rain coming down our heads is okay. Having flu like symptoms is okay. Everything is okay on okay day!

Barney: I didn’t mean to, to upset you Perry.

Perry: Put this evidence in a bag.

Barney: Should I, should I go back to looking to see if I find more evidence—

Perry: Go! I ain’t your Daddy.

Barney: T-t-technically you my step-daddy so that make you my—

Perry: Get the hell out my sight!

Barney takes off walking.

Wilsa: I hate to say it, but Barney’s got the right idea.

Perry: That what you think?

Wilsa: I’m just saying—

Perry: What? What you saying?

Wilsa: There may be more evidence on a larger scope if we covered more terrain, I suppose.

Perry: …Okay. Don’t make Barney right. It make him lucky, but not right.

Wilsa: I’m gonna walk around then.


Perry looks out at Barney.


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Joseph Arnone