Davey Boy Is Back In Action

In this comedic monologue Davey Boy Is Back In Action, Davey Boy is insulted by something his friend said to him and decides he needs to prove his manhood.

Davey Boy:  My mind is twisted tonight…eww I am in a bad way tonight!  See that bar over there man?  You see it?  (pointing) That one!

I’m going in there bare-knuckled and fists blazing.  I’m gonna take on as many of those guys as I can take by myself cause I’ve always wanted to see, I’ve always wanted to see what I got, see how far I can go, not like these lunatics do today with their guns and knives, I’m talkin’ about the real good old days of FISTS.  Ever hear of fists, Earl?

People use weapons cause they scared and lazy.  I ain’t scared and lazy Earl cause that’s what you called me earlier and I–don’t–like–you–speaking–to–me–that–way.

I’m going in there, after I finish this piss tasting beer you got me and I’m gonna find me the biggest looking neanderthal I can find, one of those giant faced dopey ass bastards that need a good chop to the side of the head and (throwing fists in the air like a true ass) bada I’m gonna baddaba like that and baddaba, baddadd (pops his shoulder out)  BAH like that and rrrrr, I just wanna rrrrrr bite someone’s head off.

How’s that?  You like that? (pause.)

Shit.  Nah, I’m alright, I’m…I pulled my freaking shoulder out cause…I get too hyper cause you make me so mad and I…I think it’s outta place.  Damn it!  Hold my beer, I gotta pop it back in now…

(pops his shoulder back in place)

There it is!  Davey boy is back in action!  But now, wait, I don’t know about going in there cause the challenge is off, it’s all wrong now cause I’m not in full form now cause my shoulder is bruised and it’s not a fair measure of my capabilities.

You know, in order for me to go all out and all in I need to be in top form cause, you know, how will we ever know, right, so…you ah, you wanna go back to the gas station and grab some more beer or something?

Joseph Arnone


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