Death Was The Only Option

Death Was The Only Option is a short comedic script for two people.   This is a surrealistic piece with dark humor elements.

Death Was The Only Option

Beach. Day.

Saul: What am I supposed to do, Jenni?

Jenni: Just leave her already. Obviously she keeps making your life a living hell. Walk.

Saul: It’s not that simple, she’s my wife.

Jenni: So what? That’s what divorce is for.

Saul: We have kids.

Jenni: I’m sure your children will grow up and understand.

Saul: She’s pregnant.

Jenni: That’s perfectly fine.

Saul: She’s about to give birth within the month.

Jenni: Dude, lighten up.

Saul: Her mother is dying…any day now.

Jenni: Bro, leave now and get there early.

Saul: We just bought a house.

Jenni: Put that shit back on the market.

Saul: So you really think I should leave her then?

Jenni: I can’t be anymore emphatic.

(pause.)

Saul: How are things with you?

Jenni: I just killed my husband.

Saul: Really?

Jenni: Two days ago. Drowned him in the pool. Well, first I hit him in the head with a brick when his back was turned to me, while he was standing on the deck. After I smashed him, he fell into the pool and drowned on his own.

Saul: Then what happened?

Jenni: Called the police. They said he must have hit his head on the edge of the pool before falling in. I went right along…

Saul: Well yeah, of course.

Jenni: I’m not going to admit to that shit.

Saul: Right. (beat) Can I ask you something though?

Jenni: Shoot.

Saul: Why did you do it?

Jenni: Boredom.

Saul: Couldn’t you just leave him?

Jenni: Death was the only option.

Saul. Right.

(pause.)

Saul: Beautiful day out.

Jenni: It really is.

Saul: I love when there’s a cool breeze on a warm day.

Jenni: Soothing.

(beat)

Jenni: Well, it was good seeing you. (Jenni stands)

Saul: Right.

Jenni: I better be off now.

Saul: Okey, dokey. (Saul stands)

Jenni: Let me know when you leave your wife. I’m single now so, you know, we may be a viable option.

Saul: As long as there’s no brick hitting and pool drowning. Hahaha.

Jenni: Hahaha, right, right, I know right?

Saul: Yeah.

(they hug)

Jenni: Call me.

Saul: You bet.

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