Finding The Inner Strength To Love

In the monologue, Finding The Inner Strength To Love, Awiti speaks with an owner of a bookstore she has known for many years as a customer.

Awiti:  There’s a laziness in me, a laziness to love another human being fully.  And I realize that’s why I’m alone.  It’s not that I don’t want to love, it’s that no one has ever showed me and I don’t think…I’m not…I feel that if I try, it will be wrong and I don’t want to be wrong.

And because of that I’ve gotten lazy with ever trying to make a real attempt.  (beat)  It scares me.  I’m so afraid to love that I find myself trapped inside myself and even though all I want to do is break out of my own skin, I don’t know how.

Sorry, I’ve never shared this with anyone else before…(she smiles)  it feels good to say it out-loud, to just put words into what I’ve been living with.

I want to fall in love some day…that would be my dream come true.