In the monologue, Finding The Inner Strength To Love, Awiti speaks with an owner of a bookstore she has known for many years as a customer.
Awiti: There’s a laziness in me, a laziness to love another human being fully. And I realize that’s why I’m alone. It’s not that I don’t want to love, it’s that no one has ever showed me and I don’t think…I’m not…I feel that if I try, it will be wrong and I don’t want to be wrong.
And because of that I’ve gotten lazy with ever trying to make a real attempt. (beat) It scares me. I’m so afraid to love that I find myself trapped inside myself and even though all I want to do is break out of my own skin, I don’t know how.
Sorry, I’ve never shared this with anyone else before…(she smiles) it feels good to say it out-loud, to just put words into what I’ve been living with.
I want to fall in love some day…that would be my dream come true.