First Reaction

In this short comedic script for 1 woman 1 man, First Reaction takes us through a strange and awkward first date with offbeat humor.

First Reaction

Rene:  I’m gonna order the fish and some salad, you?

Dill:  Eh, I’m looking at the steak and I’m gonna grab some salad, too.

(awkward pause.)

Rene:  I know this is awkward.  Maybe we should just talk about it out in the open.

Dill:  Talk about what?

Rene:  Come on Dill, don’t make it worse than it already is…please.

Dill:  It didn’t bother me, it’s fine.

Rene:  Honestly, it’s all I keep thinking about.  It shouldn’t have happened.

Dill:  No, no, it’s my fault.  I shouldn’t have stopped short the way I did while driving.

Rene:  It wasn’t your fault.

Dill:  Isn’t that what caused it to happen?

Rene:  It was already on the tipping point.

Dill: Really?

Rene:  Yes, yes it was.  When you slammed on the breaks, it was unavoidable.

Dill: At least we can agree on the fact that I’m partially to blame.

Rene:  If I would have kept myself together…

Dill:  If I didn’t suddenly stop short…

Rene:  The second one was all me.

Dill:  Well that, that was something else.  Yeah, I have no idea what happened there.  I mean, after the first one, I made sure I drove calm and cool, as calm and cool as I possi—

Rene:  I know you did and I appreciate you doing that.

(awkward pause)

Dill:  Waiter is taking for—

Rene:  I just want to say that I’m sorry.

Dill:  Look, it happens.  Maybe not as often as it has happened THUS FAR  (nervous laugh) but you know, it’s cool…maybe—

Rene:  Dill?

Dill:  Yes?

Rene:  I don’t like you.  No offense, but the truth about it is that my screams are a reaction to your face.

Dill:  What exactly are you saying?

Rene:  I’m saying that my first reaction to you, on this blind date of ours and me screaming, are connected.

Dill:  Connected?  I thought it was because I stopped the car short while driving?

Rene: That was coincidental, it was bound to happen at any minute, regardless.

Dill:  No kidding?

Rene:  Dead serious.

Dill:  Hmmm.  Are you still getting the fish?

Rene: The fish?  Yes.

Dill:  Right.  (beat)  Right.  Yeah.  So.  Um.  Uh.  Why don’t you like me?

Rene:  I loathe you.  Well, not now, scratch that.  I like you now…moderately.  You’ve shown patience and understanding and that’s important to me.

Dill: Is it?

Rene:  Very.

Dill:  Well, my parents raised me to be a gentleman.

Rene:  I see.

Dill:  That’s the problem with men today, isn’t it?

Rene:  What is?

Dill:  Oh, treating a woman with class, instead of like property or worse.  It’s just considered so old fashioned and it shouldn’t be.  I want to bring class back.  There needs to be a renaissance in terms of how men treat women.

Rene:  I couldn’t agree more.

Dill: That’s right.  I mean, what’s wrong with a man opening up a door for a woman?  Or holding her hand while going out for a walk?  What’s wrong with a beautiful woman such as yourself blasting out scream after scream after high pitched scream, relentlessly and unabashedly, while on our way to this expensive restaurant…RIGHT?

Rene:  Wow, you’re starting to turn me on.

Dill:  Am I?  Good!  Let the wind fly baby cause I’m coming out!!!  Because that is what I believe dammit and someone needs to say it and I just said it, so there it is!

Rene kisses Dill with the longest, deepest, most passionate kiss ever planted on a man.

Rene sits back in her chair.

Long pause.

Dill:  Was that real?

Rene:  Very.

Dill:  I liked that.

Rene:  Bet you did.

Dill:  This is the…this is the greatest night of my life.

Rene:  Dill?

Dill: Yes, Rene?

Rene:  Dill, I don’t feel like screaming anymore.


Joseph Arnone


Performing Your Monologue

Performing Your MonologuePerforming Your Monologue combines the process of acting craft, creating your own monologue short film and marketing, in order to provide the ultimate actor’s mindset.

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