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Fried Balls From A Laptop

In this comedic monologue, JACKIE tells her girlfriend about a date she had with a man who couldn’t have children due to his laptop.

JACKIE:  I met this guy who couldn’t have kids because his laptop fried the sperm count in his balls.  This guy was a writer of sorts.  Some kind of a journalist.  He was always writing in his little laptop.  But he always kept it on his lap.  Turns out the heat from the laptop, cooked the sperm in his sack and it now prevents him from having children.  Can you believe that?  The guy is now forced to adopt if he wants kids.  How sad is that?  At first, I thought he was joking.  Whoever heard of such a thing?!  But the poor bastard was serious.

When I got home, I went on Google and I looked it up.  At first I didn’t know what to type, ball frying, overheated nut sack, sweaty balls, but then I just typed in LAPTOP ON LAP.  I found all kinds of articles about the subject.  But get this, his name comes up.  It turns out he is one of the leading journalists in this area now and it’s making him famous.  It’s like his claim to fame.  Isn’t that weird?  I read his articles and they were good.  Very detail oriented guy.  Not my type though.  I only went on that one date with him.  The whole overheated sack thing just was too much to bare.  But I did find him interesting.  Actually, if you think about it, I found his balls interesting.  ha ha ha.  That’s about it.  That was a strange one.

Joseph Arnone

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