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Going Down The Rabbit Hole

In Going Down The Rabbit Hole, Clark confesses to a dear friend the life change he made when he almost died during a storm.

CLARK:  Your whole frame work concerns me.  You are spending way too much time on things that don’t truly matter.

I used to be like you are now, just much worse.

I’ve spent most of my life being negative.  Always talking trash about this person or that person.  Going down the rabbit hole to distract my mind from doing something significant for myself.  The best is when I would actually take action, but it was the sort of inaction that wouldn’t lead me anywhere.  Again, another trick for my mind.

I’d rage at the news and all the political ongoings that would be happening all around me.  I’d develop my point of view of various conspiracy theories that wouldn’t really mean all that much other than making myself feel safe.

Safe from what, right?

Safe from never going through the pain of hard work.  Safe from never making sacrifices to achieve the dreams I had deep inside me.

Years went by and every now and then I’d pop my head up from the sand.  I’d take an honest inventory of myself and boy oh boy did I hate what I came to see…I’d bury my head back in the sand and wait it out for a few more years…always waiting it out.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.  Complaining, complaining, complaining.

It’s his fault, her fault, the world’s fault…never my fault.  Never, ever.

Then one day everything changed.

I was walking outside during a major hurricane and I was in one of my terrible moods.  The kind of mood where I didn’t care about anything, least of all myself.  It was dangerous to go outside, but I was determined to go on my walk, despite the heavy winds and downpour of rain.

I got as far as the third block or so, when a tree branch came crashing down on top of me.  I was on the ground, immobile, staring up at the sky wondering if this was it…it wasn’t.  I remained there in pain, half-conscious and something happened…something stood over me and stared into my eyes…till this day I couldn’t tell you what it was or what exactly it looked like, but I mostly felt it’s presence…it was a good presence, but an unhappy one…unhappy with me and this feeling came over me that gave me clarity…sort of a cleansing and for the first time in my life I was somehow able to see.

I was wrong for so long.  I began crying.  I cried and cried and wished for help…I completely let myself go and asked for mercy.  It was there, in that moment that my life changed for the better…don’t remember how exactly I got back home…don’t remember nothing other than what I felt.

All I wanted to do was live my life and live it fully and that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

All I can say to you is that you don’t need something like a life or death situation to happen, before you realize you need to start living right.  Just start.  Start living right…for yourself.

Joseph Arnone

CREATE

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