Humble, Human

In this monologue, GEOFFREY has a go at his sister-in-law over the high authoritative way she communicates with him on a regular basis.

(he sits)

Geoffrey:  Have you been enjoying your stay in my home?  (beat) Have you had enough tea?  Would you like another biscuit, perhaps?

(beat)

You repulse me.  The way you go about with such puffed up self-importance is so disgusting I can vomit on myself at will.

(beat)

What sort of upbringing did you have?  Hmm?  What sort?  Who wiped your behind all those years to make you think you are better than me…you witch?

Are my words too hard for you?  Is the Queen above a tongue lashing?  You know what it is dear, you do not, let me rephrase, you have never encountered a man such as me to put you in your place.  You have been pampered by your family, friends and whatever men have crossed your path.

I can just imagine it.  Weak!  Pathetic men trying to be sweet and delicate and not say a bad word in front of you.  (sarcastically) God bring them sin if they cross your line.  Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Who the hell do you think you are?!  I am not someone who gives a rotten damn about your line!  I am not someone who will obey your orders!  I will be respected by you on my own terms or no terms at all.  I do not give a piss!

(pause.)

Well, well, well.  Don’t look so frightened.  Shocked?  It appears as though I have finally broken past your veneer.

(beat)

Hmmm.  Shame on me, perhaps.  (he observes her further) Maybe this is the kind of talk you need in order to become humble, human.

If I do not see a change in you…if I do not see you respect your sister or our family…you will be escorted from my home, off my grounds…forever.

You are welcome to more tea and biscuits if you like…

(he stands, leaves the room)

Joseph Arnone

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