It’s A Little Cold Out There

In comes Jake’s son Ryan from the cold.  This is a good male monologue for when you need to audition for a father character.

JAKE: Ya hands are cold?  Yeah?  Can’t feel ya nose?  I warned you.  I told ya to put on a hat and gloves.  Did you listen?  No.  So that’s what you get.  You wanna get warm?  Go upstairs and clean your room.  Warm you right up.  Go.  Don’t think me or your mother are gonna clean up that pigsty.  You must be joking.  Go ahead.  Go warm up your arms and sweat a little.  It’s good for ya.


You’re not gonna get frost bite.  Let me see your hands.  (beat)  Oh God!  We need to take you to the hospital!  (beat) Ha ha ha ha ha.  I’m joking, relax, I’m kidding, you’re fine, you’re fine…go clean your room.

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Joseph Arnone