Keep Ya Heads Turned

In this dramatic western monologue Keep Ya Heads Turned, WOZ (a legendary badass gunslinger) lines up a crew of troublemaking men to warn them about bad behaving Mrs. Rutherford and her pie shop.  

(holding the men at gun point)

WOZ:  You can hold onto your guns.  I’m not gonna ask any ya’ll to take ’em out and throw them towards me.  You may wonder why on your own time.  Ya’ll don’t know who I am by looking at me but I assure you, you know who I am by the sound of me.

This here shop keeper, Mrs. Rutherford, is someone very dear to me and she promised me not to bother you boys none, at least, not in the way I go about handling situations in the usual sense.  I agreed.

(he puts his gun back in its holster)

I want you to stop bothering Mrs. Rutherford because I’m simply asking you to do so man to man.  She just wants to run her pie shop. You boys can terrorize the whole lot.  I don’t give a damn but if any of you so much as glance in Mrs. Rutherford’s direction from this point onward, so help you Lord, I will kill every single one of you.

So, having said my peace, I do hope that you keep ya heads turned, respect my ask and everybody can continue going on about their day.  Thank you, kindly.

Joseph Arnone


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