Kidding Up A Storm

Post-Apocalyptic.  Desert.  Day.  Werner and Jess are about to get confronted by a gang of lethal warriors.  1 woman, 1 man.  Drama.  Sci-fi.

Kidding Up A Storm

Warner: Haven’t I said it enough?
Jezz: Enough is never enough…right?

Warner lights his cigarette – looks out at the open horizon.

Warner: Is this what you really want?
Jezz: Do you need to ask me that at this point?
Warner: What about what I want?
Jezz: What about it?
Warner: Don’t you ever take me into consideration?
Jezz: Me?
Warner: Don’t you ever consider what I think about all this?
Jezz: Are you kidding up a storm?


Warner: Once these boys get here, I won’t be able to call them off. You realize that, don’t ya?
Jezz: I do.
Warner: All I need to do now (holds up whistle) is blow this whistle one time and under one minute flat they will be here.
Jezz: Blow.

Warner stares at Jezz a second or two…

Warner: I can’t do it.

Jezz storms toward Warner.

Jezz: Don’t you dare! Don’t you DARE take this away from me now!

Jezz tries to take the whistle out from Warner’s hand.

You think this is easy for me? I have to to do this. I have to. It’s what’s right.
Warner: What am I left with if you’re gone?
Jezz: Yourself. Since that’s all you give a damn about anyways.
Warner: I want to do things in a smarter fashion.
Jezz: Sometimes reason isn’t smarter. Now give me that damn whistle!
Warner: Can I say something?
Jezz: No! We’ve talked this to death and anymore talk about it now is asinine.
Warner: I don’t think it’s asinine. I think it’s right.

Jezz punches Warner in his shoulder multiple times.

Damn it! I’ll give you the damn whistle but hear me out! (beat) I want this. I want this just as bad as you do. These bastards got it coming to them and I want in. I am going to separate their souls from their bodies but you need to go at my pace. You can’t go at this alone. If alone, they’ll kill ya and it’s bad enough…it’s…bad enough that—they will get it but we do this together and if that’s the way we go out then that’s the way we go out.
Jezz: I want that whistle. You hand me that whistle right now or I will go to them.
Warner: Alright, okay, fine. I’m gonna blow this damn whistle and we’re in this together. That’s it.

Warner holds out the whistle.

Joseph Arnone


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