Mad Mike

In this serio-comedy monologue Mad Mike, a teenager raps in front of his full length mirror imagining himself to be the most famous rap star ever.


“I was in my Mercedes checking out the ladies,

along came a girl who said she was crazy,

I opened my door to let her in,

I said, “Yo baby, wanna go for a spin?”

We went around the block a couple of times,

she said, “Stop the car!” and I—

(mother calls him for dinner)

What?!  Okay, okay…I said OKAY!



(back to mirror)

Yeah, uh huh, yeah…whattup whattup?  Yeah, what up son?  Yeah dog, I ain’t clowning, I ain’t clowning dog.  Yeah, you frontin’, yo you frontin’?  Yo, stop clowning dog.  Yeah, yeah, yeah!!!

Yeah, I’m a rapper, I’m a rap star.  Yo, for shizzle my nizzle little sizzle.  Yeah,  yo they call me MAD MIKE.  YEAH!  Ta-dow!  Mad Mike son!  Psssf!  Psssf!   What?  What?!

Aight!  Aight!  Don’t hate the–

(mother calls her son AGAIN for dinner)

Mom, I’ll be right down! I’m coming! God!  I can’t do nothing!  Yeah, okay ma!!!

(looks back in the mirror)

Don’t hate the player, hate the game…

(he walks out of his bedroom)


Find thousands of great monologues for all ages.

Joseph Arnone


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