This is about how we sometimes try to figure out how to connect with who we were, with who we are now, so our life feels more worthy and meaningful.
Damn: I can’t let it go. It hangs around my neck and weighs me down. The muscles in my back are strained and tearing. My mouth is dry. There’s water in my eyes…dirt, blood, light.
My heart drops but comes back again. Beating thick and heavy but with a nervousness that makes me unsettled and scared.
Trying to find love through all this disgust.
Who do I blame?
I want to scrape away the dirt and sand, so that I can pull out my own fossil and rebuild my bones in a lab.
I wish to examine, like the mad scientist I know myself to be, so that I may heal from my experiment.