Not Today

In this serio-comedy monologue for a male actor, SEAN talks to a young actor about the possibility of dating his daughter.

Sean: I was enjoying watching you drool over my daughter while still trying to keep a straight face.  No, no, it’s alright.  She’s a beautiful young woman, I’m aware of that.  I’m also aware of you.  I like you but I’m not so sure I’d like you for my daughter.  I was in your situation once…coming up on the scene, young and handsome.  I get it, believe me…but she’s not that kind of girl.

Best thing to do, is look the other way.  I don’t want my daughter getting her heart broke.  Maybe in a few years, if the sperm running laps in your balls settles down a bit, maybe then you can take her out…that is, if she’s interested in you.

Not otherwise. (pointing) Not until then. Okay?  (nods)  Good.

Joseph Arnone


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