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Old Ice Cream

In Old Ice Cream, Barry talks to his friend who seems to keep teasing him about the same container of ice cream that has remained in his freezer for over a year.

BARRY: Listen man, stop breaking my balls, alright? I know the ice cream has been in my fridge for like a year but I rather have something in there because I don’t want it to look empty.

(beat)

Why are you laughing? Come on man, stop laughing at me…bro, I’m a bachelor, alright? I don’t have time to go food shopping. I’m always on the go and whenever I do go shopping, it’s usually for a few things like when I cook home. You know?

But you know I’m not a big cook. I like eating out…so that’s why I don’t have much in my cabinets or fridge.  What do you want from me?

Keep laughing, you bastard….hahaha…it is kind of funny…hahaha. Let’s open it up and see what it looks like. Yo, who can we invite over to eat this? Who could we play a joke on? How about that pain in the ass kid next door…you know the one, what’s his name? Ray Ray! Let’s give little Ray Ray some ice cream…hahaha. I’m bad, stop. I can’t do that but I would like too. hahaha!

No, really, I’ll tell you what…let’s go food shopping now cause you make me feel bad.  I’ll pack everything up but you better not eat everything cause you’re like the invisible roommate that just comes over for food and doesn’t chip in for anything.

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