Pull Ups

In this monologue MARIO talks to his friend about how he caught his cat doing chin ups.

MARIO: Bro, bro, bro, you don’t understand…last night I get home, smoked a spliff and I am not even fucking with you right now, I caught my cat doing chin ups!

Bro, I have a towel that hangs over my shower rod and when I went to take a piss, my cat jumped up to the towel and when I looked at her she literally had her entire body extended, dangling stiffly in the air with only her paws clamped onto the towel and that alone was sick but then she started raising herself upward from her elbows.

I watched in awe.  She was amazing.  She did a total of twelve chin ups man!  TWELVE!  And I was cheering her on, pushing her to do another and another and she was straining real hard.   You could see her determination by the way her face scrunched up and the sounds she made on the last two pulls.  She really went for it man.

I’m actually really proud of her.  She’s a beast bro, a complete beast.

Joseph Arnone


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