Random Acts of Kindness

In Random Acts of Kindess, Edna Haynes talks to Bill about lending him money and sharing a story about how she and his father were once in love.

EDNA HAYNES WORTH: Wutch you need now, Bill?  How much you say?  (beat)  Three-fifty?  That it?  Three-fifty…

Whatever happened to that alligator you were supposed to sell?  Wutch you call him there, Marvin?  Marvin his name?  Right, whatever happened to that, weren’t you suppose ta get a thick chunk of change for that there?

Crikey…I mean, it’d been nice if you sold the poor fella this way you don’t have to come and bother me with your low life sorrows.  Sure as hell can’t be giving away free money like I’m some sort of money making cash register that’s always open for business…I say.

I got your three-fifty rolled up in bands.  I keep ’em nice and tight and neat where I keep ’em.

Jackass you turned out to be.  You were never one fer brains that’s no wonder but boy are you just about the dumbest I ever knew.  Dumbest but the sweetest.  Why is that?  Why are all the numbskulls so dog gonnit nice?

You break my heart kid.  Knew your father, went to school with ’em.  Just like you but a cell or two brighter than you.  Always trying to help old people.  Don’t ask me why…whenever we be walking back home from school or go on up to the ice cream parlor or what have you, whenever we’d spot an oldie, he run on over there and ask him or her if they needed help with the groceries, crossing the street or change for the bus, even though he never had any change to give.  He was always a good fella that way, your Daddy.  Random acts of kindness.  You remind me so much of ’em, you even look like him, too.

Did you know your Daddy was gonna propose to me?  Bet you didn’t know that.  Not many people do.  We both realized we was in love but we found out after the fact that he got your Momma pregnant…yeah…he never knew what hit him…big ole Mack truck come swerving at top speed…terrible sight…made me pick up the bottle after that…I did love your Daddy, very much, very much.

…You have his eyes.  Anyway!  Here’s tree fiddy and that ain’t no three dollars and fifty cents worth…ha!

See you later, sonny…and if you can, help an oldie cross the street once in a while.

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