Someone To Hear My Voice

In Someone To Hear My Voice, Japhy talks about being overwhelmed with the emotional side of life and how he wishes he could digitally remove his problems.

Japhy:  I have so many different thoughts running through my mind right now that I don’t even know where to begin…concerns, all these concerns pounding the shit out of my mind.

This past week was a rough one for me.  Emotionally, I’m exhausted.  Between caring for my loved ones and being involved in different projects…I’m just trying to maintain.

I have sores in my mouth.  When I don’t sleep and I’m really stressed out, I get these painful sores in my mouth, making it difficult to eat and drink.  When I talk I sound like I have a speech impediment that I’m desperately trying to cover up, due to the pain.

I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, maybe I just need someone to hear my voice.  If you can lend me your ears, I’d really appreciate it because I’ve been so lonely.

You know, I get so caught up that I even have nightmares, so my sleep is all whacked out as well.  It sucks when the ongoing troubles of your everyday life follow you into your dreams…

(long pause.)

I don’t know how to cry.  I used to know…I could remember crying, it’s been so long, I keep so much in, I don’t know how to release what I feel and I feel so much.  There are days when I’m bursting at the seams with emotion but no release.  I’m locked inside myself.  I call those my bloated days.

But, lately it’s been different.  (beat)

You know what I’d like to do?  I’d like to install something like a USB port into my brain and upload all my emotional files to an external hard drive, so I don’t need to keep feeling what I feel and wipe out all my memory.

Ahhh, that would be awesome.  Just keep the files I wish to keep in my mind and remove all the junk.  There’s just so much junk floating around…

Maybe then, maybe then life could get easier.

Listen, I, I appreciate you listening, even for a bit…I don’t want to burden you with my problems.  The fact that you gave me a minute or so of your time means the world to me and helps me go another day.

Thank you for that.  Thank you.

Joseph Arnone


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