In Someone To Hear My Voice, Japhy talks about being overwhelmed with the emotional side of life and how he wishes he could digitally remove his problems.
Japhy: I have so many different thoughts running through my mind right now that I don’t even know where to begin…concerns, all these concerns pounding the shit out of my mind.
This past week was a rough one for me. Emotionally, I’m exhausted. Between caring for my loved ones and being involved in different projects…I’m just trying to maintain.
I have sores in my mouth. When I don’t sleep and I’m really stressed out, I get these painful sores in my mouth, making it difficult to eat and drink. When I talk I sound like I have a speech impediment that I’m desperately trying to cover up, due to the pain.
I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, maybe I just need someone to hear my voice. If you can lend me your ears, I’d really appreciate it because I’ve been so lonely.
You know, I get so caught up that I even have nightmares, so my sleep is all whacked out as well. It sucks when the ongoing troubles of your everyday life follow you into your dreams…
I don’t know how to cry. I used to know…I could remember crying, it’s been so long, I keep so much in, I don’t know how to release what I feel and I feel so much. There are days when I’m bursting at the seams with emotion but no release. I’m locked inside myself. I call those my bloated days.
But, lately it’s been different. (beat)
You know what I’d like to do? I’d like to install something like a USB port into my brain and upload all my emotional files to an external hard drive, so I don’t need to keep feeling what I feel and wipe out all my memory.
Ahhh, that would be awesome. Just keep the files I wish to keep in my mind and remove all the junk. There’s just so much junk floating around…
Maybe then, maybe then life could get easier.
Listen, I, I appreciate you listening, even for a bit…I don’t want to burden you with my problems. The fact that you gave me a minute or so of your time means the world to me and helps me go another day.
Thank you for that. Thank you.