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Tender Mercies

In Tender Mercies, Hannah tells her girlfriends about a date with Mr. Willoughby, who made a grab for her body.

HANNAH:  Tender mercies!  He grabbed me and said that I was the woman of his dreams.  He kissed me on my mouth and then made a grab at my tender mercies!  And that’s when, despite my shock and anxiety…not to mention my own physical hunger, I smacked Mr. Willoughby right-across-the cheek  I do believe I caught a piece of his nostril but that’s neither hither nor thither.

In an instant we both locked eyes and stared deeply and shyly into one another’s space.  We were completely and utterly transfixed by the spontaneity of such actions we both demonstrated.  So I did what any middle aged woman would do, especially one who was in dire need of some serious attention…I kissed Mr. Willoughby ever so gently on his lips.  I could not believe the gall I had to display such movement.

Mr. Willoughby pulled away from me and I thought to myself, “Oh Boy, I am a terrible kisser, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it….just like when I kissed Bobby Findley in grade school and he told Mrs. Kline that he suddenly fell sick”  But something magical had happened.  Mr. Willoughby looked at me like Clark Gable in ‘Gone With The Wind’ and said, “Mrs. Perby, I am sure that in all my years of living, no woman has ever kissed me so endearingly as you did just then”.  And with that he leaned in and kissed me like I’ve never been kissed.  I was whisked away on a white cloud somewhere far off in another world that I didn’t know existed.

(sighs)

Oooooh, what an evening it was…

Joseph Arnone

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