The First Time I Met My Boss

In The First Time I Met My Boss, Marissa shares the story of the worst possible situation that could have happened when meeting her boss.

Marissa:  Where do I begin?  Okay, so I love my job, I’m a social media ninja and manage a team of five people who are like my family.  I get along awesome with everyone and yesterday I was invited to attend a corporate dinner to meet the big boss of the company, Mrs. Meredith.

I’ve never met the boss of the company but I’ve heard all kinds of horror stories about her, like, she’s a real cutthroat bitch and it’s extremely difficult to get on her good side and basically the only living thing she is nice to is her dog Rudolph.  She’s been known to take one look at someone and fire them on the spot for no apparent reason, so, needless to say I was nervous. Very, very, nervous.

As luck would have it I was designated to sit beside her during dinner.  No one else wanted to sit near her and since I’m new in relation to the other managers, I had no choice but to accept the seating arrangements.

About halfway through dinner Mrs. Meredith turns to me and starts asking me all kinds of questions about my background, how did I get into social media, what’s my favorite thing about my job, what are my future dreams, on and on and on and the whole time we are talking I couldn’t help but notice that she had a large piece of food dangling above her top lip.

During the entire time we were talking, I’m wondering if I should say something or if I should just leave well enough alone and keep my mouth shut but it was driving me crazy and the more I tried to ignore it the more I would stare at this freaking thing, so finally I outright said, “Mrs. Meredith, I’m sorry but there happens to be a piece of food resting on top of your upper lip.”

And this woman looked at me with such disdain that I thought I was going to evaporate from existence and she says, “Darling, it isn’t food you are staring at…it is my mole.”

She points to exactly where the mole is located on her face and says, “This mole has been with me since the time of my birth, I assure you, it isn’t food.”

The room went dead silent, I felt my face turn red and I literally burst out crying in panic.  I didn’t know what else to do and the entire time I’m crying she’s patting me on the back saying, “There, there, there, there child.”

I apologized and she laughed furiously.  She slammed her fist down on the table, stood up and announced to everyone in the room that she wanted more people like me working for the company, people that were honest and had compassion.  Then she downed her glass of rosé and left the table but not before caressing my face and smacking my cheek with a nod of approval.

And that is how I met my boss for the very first time!

Joseph Arnone


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