In the comedy monologue The Whole Package, Anda talks to her girlfriend about her frustration with dating men.
ANDA: That’s it. I’ve had it with men! I am going for women. The way I see it is that if men aren’t going to give me satisfaction, perhaps a woman can. I’m done. I don’t care anymore. I’ve had it.
John sucks in bed. He is great in every which way possible. But in bed he is dead. It’s like making love to a coffin. No joke. Pathetic. He expects me to do all the work, which I do in order to have movement but it is soooo exhausting and sooooo irritating. He just leans back like the King and watches. It’s like trying to start a car that keeps stalling. (imitating stalling car) Pff! Pff! Pff!
I meet them all, really, I do. I always think I meet some great guy but after a few months I find a flaw. Who has the temper, who is too controlling, who’s too laid back, who is broke and the latest, who sucks in bed. I can’t seem to find the right man with the whole package.
Why can’t I just meet a man, who is drop dead handsome, comes from money, has a hilarious personality, will simply adore me, gives me my freedom and is incredible in bed? Do those kind of men exist? Have they ever existed?
I am yet to meet a man like that. The mysteries of life.