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Those Secret Images of Happiness

In Those Secret Images of Happiness, Jope talks to his brother who is losing his battle with mental illness and well, it’s just a rough one…

Jope:  All I ever wanted was the best for you.  I’ve never wanted your current situation to be the one you are living in.  I’ve always been the one to believe in you because I see who you are in your heart and the potential you have in you to be someone, anyone other than who you are.

I’ve always had these dreams as a boy that I would be able to rise up and take care of all my most cherished loved ones because I always imagined that I had the power in me to bring everyone together again and heal our family’s wounds.

It’s all a lie, isn’t it?  Been lying to myself my entire life.

What we oftentimes imagine, those secret images of happiness that permeate inside of us, it’s rare any of us ever get there…and now here you are, in this horrible situation…(pause)…there’s nothing I can do…I only want to hold you and shield you from the danger of yourself.

Damn you…damn you for this!  For making me feel this way!  You could have put in too.  You could have met me halfway, instead of leaving it up to me all the time you selfish bastard!  Always me!  Always up to me, right?  When do I get to lower the pressure?  When do I get to not think?  When do I get to party?!

(beat)

No.  I’m not doing this.  I’m not going be weak and dwell on the what ifs and could have beens.  No!

Listen to me, you!  You are going to get yourself together, I am going to make you, you are not giving up and neither am I.  We can’t!  We can’t lose what we believe in…you get up and you fight.  Yeah?  You get up and be strong.  You get up and you don’t forget.  You can’t forget because if you forget we die and we can’t die, not like this, not without trying, not without giving this world everything we have in it to give…there’s no other way.  You hear me, Todd?

(beat)

…I will be strong for you and I will make good on my promises, I will, I will make things good again, I promise, I promise you that I will make it and I will look out for you, I won’t let you down, I won’t let you die…you won’t die…not like this, not like this my brother…I won’t allow it, not while I’m around, no one’s gonna hurt you, no one, they have to get through me first and they will never get through me, never, never ever…no one’s gonna come for you, we stick together, okay?  Like always…I didn’t mean what I said before, it’s me, it’s not you, it’s me, I’m the one, it’s me, I’m the one…trust me…

Joseph Arnone

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