In this female comedy monologue, MISS LORELLI gives her brother a piece of her mind because he needs to start stepping up when it comes to their chores.
(to her brother, HAROLD)
Miss Lorelli: Pass me my shoes, would you darling? What is wrong with you lately? You are moving too slow for my liking, if Papa falls witness to this, he would think you ill!
You should care what Papa thinks!! He provides for us, provides the wine and the cheese that you are currently demolishing. You take up space Harold, money and space and I’m starting to get sick of it! I know you are my brother but you are what one would call a ‘dimwit’. Have you heard of the term? Mama used to say it a lot when you were young, we’d always have our little laughs over your nicknames, well let’s get back to what I was saying…yes, a dimwit!
We need some action in this household, the front patio needs renovating and you can’t keep leaving everything to me! I have a life Harold, I have the ladies lunch meetings this week, we are designing a program for shoe festival and I must be in top form! I can’t keep picking up after you, besides it’s time you start getting your own home, I’m becoming a lady almost, I’ll soon be at the womanly age of 20 and I’d prefer some privacy ! You are almost 18, soon you’ll be thrown out by Papa and you’d have no place of your own set up!
Papa isn’t going anywhere – do not mention such a thing, he is temporarily at the hospital Harold, temporarily Harold!!! Learn what that means, Christ – get an education young boy- you are truly falling apart and I will not wish to take Mama’s place with you, you must start taking the initiative to self-educate !