In this monologue, Johannes talks to a well trusted friend about how he sometimes feels like he has two different personalities.
Johannes: I feel like I have two different personalities. Both are strong. Both are deep. Both feel real to me. I’ve never spoken to anyone about it before and I’m not sure if I have some kind of problem or not…I don’t know.
On one hand I have a lot of love in my heart. I am very compassionate to people. My friends, family, strangers, whoever…I always try to give good energy.
I’m pretty easygoing and am not someone who ever looks for trouble. I try to do the right thing in life and take care of my responsibilities. Pretty standard, average guy stuff.
Here’s where I run into trouble though…it’s when I get angry. When I get angry, which doesn’t happen often and does take quite a bit of pushing me around before I really respond…but when I do, when I do respond, I am an ugly human being. I don’t see anything in front of me. It becomes so hard to remain as the person I am but when I am angry, I act on emotion and lose sight of myself and the situation and I usually flee. I flee because I don’t want to do things I will regret because I know what sort of destruction I’m capable of and it’s pretty powerful.
Do you ever feel like this? (beat) I just want to know how to avoid ever doing anything that would make me ashamed. I don’t ever want to do anything bad. Do you have any advice for me? (beat) Please…I need your help with this…