Walking My Dog Isn’t Fun

In this children’s monologue, BRIAN complains to his father about how he doesn’t want to walk the dog because it’s too cold outside.  

Brian:  I don’t wanna walk the dog, Dad.  It’s too cold outside.  You walk the dog.  (beat) I know I wanted the dog but still…I walk the dog everyday.  Why can’t we have a yard?  (beat)  What?  No, I’m not getting wise but I’m just saying that you could walk the dog sometimes, too.  (beat)  I know it’s my dog, Dad, but it’s a lot to handle.

I know I agreed to take on the responsibility but this is insane.  I’m just a kid.  You know, there’s video games and TV and my friends…I have a life.  It’s like all I do is walk the dog around.  I have homework.  Lots of homework, Dad.  I’m trying to get good grades and this is cutting into my study time.  I’m one person.  A little help would be nice.  (beat)  I’m not exaggerating.  I’m telling you the truth.  This is getting tough for me.

It’s freezing outside.  I could die.  (beat) I wanna keep Sheba but it’s, you know, we gotta figure this thing out, Dad.  It’s getting in the way of my life.  Please.

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Joseph Arnone