Wing Girl
In Wing Girl, Janice talks to her girlfriend about wanting to hook up with a guy because she can’t take the loneliness anymore.
JANICE: Dara, listen to me…listen I need to get laid, we need to go out this Saturday! I gotta find a man soon before I burst into flames. I am hot, hot, hot for a man and if I don’t get some action soon, I am going to self-destruct!
It’s been six months!! I am in a major drought. Call the fire squad, call somebody. Who do you know?? You gotta know somebody. NO, not your neighbor! Wait, who, Fred? You mean, (she hunches over and makes a face imitating Fred) Fred?! Oh God, no way!! You’re crazy to even mention–well, I know he–he would screw any light bulb that needs fixing but, I need like six beers and four shots for that guy. When I say anything I’m not saying anything that moves, okay?
I am in a crisis! You have to know somebody else.
Okay look, we are going on an ass hunt this Saturday. I couldn’t care less if you have a boyfriend. I need my wing girl with me.
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