Young Man

In the female monologue Young Man, Mrs. Fassbender, an extremely strict schoolteacher comes down hard on one of her most disliked students.  

(holding up a looseleaf paper)

Mrs. Fassbender:  This is not acceptable.  No, no, young man.  I cannot even make out the words because you write so poorly.  This is rudimentary.  Childish.  You are in the eighth grade, you should be able to at least write.  We already know you can’t speak with all those marbles bobbling around in your mouth.  One should be able to express oneself by writing.

Stand up.  (beat)  Repeat after me.  “I will write better.”  (beat)  Louder!  (beat)  AGAIN!  (beat)  Sit your sorry face down.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

(she slams the paper on his desk)

Now, erase everything and start from the beginning and make it readable for my own two eyes to see.  You will not leave this classroom, let alone the school until I think it’s acceptable.


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Joseph Arnone


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