Earthbound
In the serio-comedy monologue, “Earthbound,” Barney expresses to Connie that he doesn’t have much ambition for living life.
BARNEY: I wish, to be something different; I don’t want to be human. I don’t just want to be stuck inside this body. I don’t want to have to die. I don’t want to ignore the things I don’t understand or suffer all night trying to understand them. I don’t want to miss people I love that I’ve lost; I don’t want to hurt people; I don’t want to hurt you, or die alone, or worry all the time about money, food, and love.
How do I… I don’t want to wonder about what was before us or what’s gonna be after us. I want to be a rhinoceros, like you said, and maybe that’s the reason why I have big nostrils, cause beneath it all, I’m a wild animal who rages at everything. Everything I hear, see, and smell, I want to crush it into a tin foil ball and bury it far into the ground. (beat)
I got no talent, Connie…but I try.
All I’ve got is effort that’s taken me this far. You want me to be a..an elegant thief? Comb my hair and wear dress clothes? Go to speech classes and smile more. I’ll try, because you told me to, Connie. But I’m already a waste, a toxic substance, like you described, so what difference would it make anyway?
- To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:
In the one-act eplay, “Earthbound,” Connie mentally coaches Barney on how to improve himself as a person in order to become an elegant thief. 1 Woman, 1 Man. Serio-comedy.
