Beer and Bobby’s Lasagna

In Beer and Bobby’s Lasagna, Kutch goes on a riff about how he’s doing his best to help his buddy Barry move Mrs. Maple out of her house.

KUTCH:  You think I give a rat’s ass Barry? You know I’m doin’ the best I can. I woke up five in the mornin’ to come here after you called me late last night and here I am, I’m here, you know, I’m f’n here after Bobby’s lasagna, with diarrhea and a throbbin’ a**hole, a migraine headache to go with it and a few beers to take the edge off. Sue me. You think I wanna be here in this two hundred degree heat, with that woman upstairs who keeps starin’ at me like I have two heads and all I’m doin’ is movin’ her friggin’ boxes into a truck. It’s not like I’m doin’ her freakin’ taxes arright? If I stink of beer and lasagna, good. I hope the aroma travels all through this lousy house, cause it’s better than breathing in mothballs, which is what I was hit with when I first entered the place. You kidding me or what? Mothballs?! No windows open, no nothin’, gotta stretch my neck out like a baby giraffe to breathe…but guess what? I’m here, right? (pointing) For yours truly. And you say it’s the favors I owe you, well, doin’ this today should take off half the favors I owe ya, cause of the bullsh’t I gotta endure. Half!

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Beer and Bobby's Lasagna by Joseph ArnoneIn the one act eplay Beer and Bobby’s Lasagna, Kutch is helping his friend Barry move Mrs. Maple out of her home as a favor, but sometimes good deeds go unappreciated.  1 Woman, 2 Men.  Comedy/Serio-Comedy.

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Joseph Arnone