In Bright Red Tractor, Dwayne explains to his buddy how they can’t go off and steal a tractor just because it happens to be on their property.
DWAYNE: If you just listen a minute then maybe I’ve somethin’ to say. When we was walkin’ along the stream two weeks ago and spotted that bright red tractor, you failed to notice the large chain attached to it from a nearby boulder. You were so enthusiastic marveling over that stupid tractor that you didn’t even take a second to notice that it’s pretty much bolted into nature. Not one but THREE different chains ran along the ground, connecting itself to two trees and a boulder. Ain’t no pair a bolt cutters gonna set that machine free. Now, now listen, now somebody is comin’ back for that tractor and somebody wanted to make sure that no one else was gonna take it or else why’d they go through all that trouble…now, you taking that tractor makes you a thief, no matter which way you wanna slice it and I want no part a that, even if it’s on my land…some fella probably just passing on through, minding his or her own business and here you are, fat and greedy, ready to pounce on the first shiny toy you’ve seen in a decade. Well, I say no. No, no. We leave it be and wait for it to disappear same way it appeared. Got nothin’ to do with you and me and one thing I learned is that soon as you interfere with life, life will interfere with you. You wanta tractor so bad, then I say we go get our own, but I ain’t takin’ some poor bastards tractor cause he got stuck in the mud and that’s that.
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In the one act eplay Bright Red Tractor, Dwayne and Bo don’t see eye to eye on whether or not to take a red tractor just because it’s been parked on their land for two weeks. 2 Men. Comedy.