Doesn’t anyone know how to drink anymore?
In drama scene from eplay, “Absence of Light” Benjamin wants to learn more about the stranger who has asked to use his home toilet.
BENJAMIN (inquisitively): And what will you do now, Jameson?
JAMESON: I will go on my merry way.
BENJAMIN: Is it now?
JAMESON: Pardon?
BENJAMIN: Your way…is it a merry one?
JAMESON: Well, sir, it is the only way I know.
BENJAMIN: Who do you go home to?
JAMESON: I have no home.
Benjamin turns his wheelchair to face Jameson.
BENJAMIN: Don’t you have a partner?
JAMESON: I do not.
BENJAMIN: What do you do for a living?
JAMESON: I do not work.
BENJAMIN: Are you homeless?
JAMESON: No, sir.
BENJAMIN: So, you have a home of your own?
JAMESON: Afraid not, sir.
BENJAMIN: I don’t have time for rubbish shenanigans! See yourself out! (He turns his wheelchair away from Jameson)
(beat)
JAMESON (timidly): I have answered your questions honestly. I did not intend to offend you.
BENJAMIN: (turning his wheelchair back to face Jameson) You knock on my door, asking to use my toilet. I was kind enough to permit you the usage of it, was I not?
JAMESON: Indeed you were, sir. Thank you.
BENJAMIN: I’m…how do you afford yourself those nice clothes your wearing?
JAMESON: Do you consider what I am wearing to be good clothing?
BENJAMIN: The fabric; (he wheels himself closer to Jameson) it isn’t cheap. It doesn’t scream, “Look at me!” which I like, but it’s modest in a respectable way. Not cheap, well made.
JAMESON: Thank you.
BENJAMIN: I’m not giving you a compliment. There’s no need to thank me. Brandy?
JAMESON: Oh…oh…I must be going.
BENJAMIN: Doesn’t anyone know how to drink anymore? It’s a crying shame.
JAMESON: I’ve only just come from the pub, and I’m only just beginning to get my wits about me.
BENJAMIN: So, you do know how to drink?
Benjamin wheels himself over to the liquor rack and pours two brandies.
Benjamin turns and holds one of the brandy glasses up to Jameson.
I had the sense that you were, well, a bit tipsy, but you’ve kept yourself together quite nicely. (beat) Will you join me?
Jameson gives in and walks over to Benjamin, taking the brandy glass.
Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable. It’s not every night someone knocks on your door asking to use the toilet. (smiles) Why didn’t you pee in that pub?
JAMESON: I didn’t realize I had to go before I actually left.
BENJAMIN: Right. And why didn’t you just go in an alleyway to pee?
JAMESON: That isn’t something I would ever do.
BENJAMIN: Why not?!
JAMESON: It feels dirty.
BENJAMIN: Hmm…what if I hadn’t let you into my home?
JAMESON: I would have tried other doors, other homes.
BENJAMIN: But my door opened.
JAMESON: Yes.
BENJAMIN: Yes. (pause.) Why?
JAMESON: Sir?
BENJAMIN: Why did my door open?
JAMESON: I knocked.
BENJAMIN: You did knock.
JAMESON: Therefore, you opened the door.
BENJAMIN: And you asked me.
JAMESON: TO which you replied.
They say together, “YES.”
Why did you say yes?
BENJAMIN: Not sure. What made you knock?
JAMESON: I had to pee.
BENJAMIN: Yes, but why my door?
JAMESON: It was the door I stumbled upon.
BENJAMIN: Were there others…before my door?
JAMESON: You were the first.
BENJAMIN: The first! What makes that happen?
JAMESON: Sir?
BENJAMIN: What makes one door appear before another?
JAMESON: I do not have the answer.
BENJAMIN: Neither do I.
They both laugh.
BENJAMIN: Are you going to tell me who you are?
JAMESON: Not a chance.
BENJAMIN: Why not?
JAMESON: I am irrelevant.
BENJAMIN: You’d rather remain a person who only visited to use my toilet and nothing more.
JAMESON: End of story.
BENJAMIN: You sound like my ex-wife.
They both laugh.
JAMESON: Why should something be more than what it needs to be?
BENJAMIN: But, I am curious.
JAMESON: No doubt.
BENJAMIN: It isn’t something I would do, mind you. I would never allow someone, a stranger, to use my toilet during the middle of the night, no less, and yet I have done just that.
JAMESON: Is it not sensible?
BENJAMIN: Quite frankly, I don’t believe it is.
JAMESON: But you’ve done it.
BENJAMIN: Indeed, I have, haven’t I?
JAMESON: Yes.
Jameson finishes his brandy.
BENJAMIN: How about one more?
JAMESON: No, really, I must be going.
BENJAMIN: But why can’t you stay?
JAMESON: I have other doors to knock on.
They both laugh.
BENJAMIN: You make no sense, and yet I am enjoying your company. You’re a nice fella.
JAMESON: Am I?
BENJAMIN: You certainly are.
JAMESON: Why thank you. It is nice to know I give off that impression.
BENJAMIN: Am I wrong about you?
- To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:
In the one-act eplay, “Absence of Light” Benjamin allows a stranger to use his toilet during the early morning hours. 2 Men. Drama.
