In this monologue, Matt explains to a man who keeps calling his house that a woman named Caroline does not live there.

MATT: Yello? (Beat.) Who is Caroline? Listen, fella, listen. If there was a Caroline living here, I’d pass the phone over to her, alright?

A woman comes out of the kitchen behind Matt. Her hair is a dirty blond, long, straight, and greasy. Mud is streaked through her hair. Her face is pale, with leaves stuck to her hair, cheeks, and arms.

She stands quietly and without motion, nearly five feet behind Matt.

There ain’t none, cause there ain’t woman, no girlfriend of yours named Caroline pal, so why don’t you, hel..hello? (beat) Well, I’m—I feel bad about that, bud. No, no. I’m Matt, not Ray. That’s alright…I mean, if she turns up, or…is there a way for me to reach you-a number or something..?

Matt stumbles to a nearby bureau and finds a small pencil and sheet of paper.

Three, two, one, seve, seven… (Matt whispers the rest of the numbers to himself we don’t hear.) Got it. Dirty blond hair..frail looking, sort of, umm…hello? Yes! Right. I got it, pal. (Beat.) That’s alright man…uh..I understand your predicament, but look, uh, you can’t keep calling here anymore, it’s making my wife nervous and all, and..yeah..two years..yeah..well, thank you. That’s alright..yeah..well, we have your number now, Carl. It’s Carl, isn’t it? Carl, Carl. (He writes it down on the paper.) Okay. Good now. Glad we’ve got that all cleared up now. Finally. Ha! Okay…BYE.

To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:

Subhuman by Joseph ArnoneIn the one act eplay, Subhuman:  After receiving multiple phone calls inquiring about a woman that doesn’t exist, Matt and Heather get the surprise of their life when the woman in question mysteriously appears in their home.  2 Women, 1 Man and 1 kid.  Drama/Thriller.

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Joseph Arnone