I’ll Meet You Halfway

“I’ll meet you halfway” starts this scene snippet from the one-act comedy eplay Henry’s Done Enough by Joseph Arnone.

VANCE: I’ll meet you halfway.

VANCE turns heat halfway on.

It’s all in my sinuses, can’t breathe in or out. Starting to lose my hearing, I’m so clogged up. It’s the dust, I’m allergic to dust.

DONO: And I have asthma and the cold will kill me.

VANCE: And the dust will kill me.

DONO: I was just starting to recover before you got me all worked up again.

VANCE: Recover from what?

DONO: The annoying day I’m having. Can’t go more than two minutes without something setting me off.

VANCE: You’re saying it’s me, aren’t you?

DONO: Who else do I live with? The statue?

VANCE: I like how you always point the finger. If it weren’t for you, I’d be out in Hawaii right now. You hear me? HAWAII.

DONO: Oh please, you would never go to Hawaii without me.

VANCE: The beach, the sun, you get so much more for your money compared to living in this black hole of an apartment.

DONO: I wanted to go to Hawaii. It was you that stopped us.


DONO: Yes, you. You’re too much of a cowardly lion to go out to Hawaii and actually live life.

VANCE: I’m not a cowardly lion.

DONO: So why haven’t we gone? Surely we can go based on your salary alone?

VANCE: I’m here for you, so you can get another Broadway gig.

DONO: We’re in a pandemic!

VANCE: I know!

DONO: There is no Broadway gig unless I go out into the cold and dance in Times Square. That’s as close to Broadway as anybody can venture.

VANCE: I know…I know.

DONO: Don’t you think I want out of here? Can’t stand this cold weather. Hawaii, my dear, would have been a dream.

VANCE: Don’t blame me.

DONO: Who else is there for me to blame? The statues?

VANCE: Why do you keep pointing out the statues?

  • To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:

Henry's Done Enough by Joseph ArnoneIn the one act ePlay Henry’s Done Enough, Dono has had it with Vance’s creepy statues all over their apartment and wants one in particular removed immediately.  2 Men.  Comedy.

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Joseph Arnone