Didn’t you say you were inviting me out?

In the scene from one-act eplay Charade, Reginald and Philip go head to head over who should be responsible for paying the dinner check.

Featured Scene – Charade

Philip puts the check back down on the table and observes Reginald’s behavior.

REGINALD: What?

PHILIP: Your turn.

REGINALD: Mine?

PHILIP: Yeah.

REGINALD: Not mine.

PHILIP: Uh-huh.

REGINALD: Can’t you get it? (Looks back into his phone.)

PHILIP: (Sighs.)

Beat.

REGINALD: What is your problem?

PHILIP: You could get it.

REGINALD: What’s the issue?

PHILIP: There is no issue.

REGINALD: Why are you –

PHILIP: Didn’t you say you were inviting me out?

REGINALD: Yeah, but, you grabbed the check.

PHILIP: Yes, I grabbed check.

REGINALD: So?

PHILIP: But you saw the check before I grabbed it.

REGINALD: You mean to tell me you just sat there waiting for me to take it?

PHILIP: Well, I mean, yeah.

REGINALD: Really?

PHILIP: I thought you were treating?

REGINALD: Wow, okay, fine. I’ll treat. (Reginald reaches inside his jacket for his wallet.)

PHILIP: But wait! Isn’t that what you told me earlier? Isn’t that why we came here?

REGINALD: We came here because we both like coming here.

PHILIP: I know.

REGINALD: This is our place.

PHILIP: Yes, I know it is –

REGINALD: And now you’re ruining it.

PHILIP: Ruining it? Ruining, what?

REGINALD: You’re intentionally trying to get me to block out all the good memories I have in this place because of how you’re behaving now…this CHARADE.

PHILIP: CHARADE? You’re the one playing a charade, dear.

REGINALD: Don’t you dare accuse me!

PHILIP: You saw the check.

REGINALD: Of course I saw the check.

PHILIP: I was in the bathroom and when I came back the check was already on the table Reginald. That gave you plenty of time to pay the bill.

REGINALD: So, what? Why the rush? You’re the one who ended up grabbing it!

PHILIP: Are you being serious right now, honey?

REGINALD: I’m always serious. Very serious.

PHILIP: You know what? I’ll take care of it.

REGINALD: No, you won’t!

Philip and Reginald both take hold of the bill, tearing it in half. They both hold one half of the bill.

PHILIP: You ripped it!

REGINALD: YOU ripped it!

PHILIP (Whispering hard.): People are beginning to stare.

REGINALD: Let them stare, I couldn’t give two sh’ts.

• To read the full ePlay Charade, find purchase button below:

Scene Summary

In the one-act eplay Charade, Reginald and Philip have a bit of a showdown over who is supposed to pick up the check and pay the bill for dinner.

• Genre: Serio-Comedy
• Length: ~5 minute scene
• Characters: 2 men
• Themes: partners, dating
• Best For: serio-comedy scenes

FAQ

Related Serio-Comedy Scenes

• I’m in this for life, Mrs. Larner.  – from Lenny
• What do you do for a living? – from Over The Moon
• He goes on these tirades. – from Tirades of Pupeye
• People should treat you with kindness. – from Moments Notice
• We’ll have to come to some arrangement. – from Armed and Dangerous

Scene Source: Charade

Charade is a serio-comedy play script by Joseph Arnone, 2026.