Didn’t you say you were inviting me out?

In the scene from one-act eplay, ‘Charade’ Reginald and Philip go head to head over who should be responsible for paying the dinner check.

Philip puts the check back down on the table and observes Reginald’s behavior.


PHILIP: Your turn.



REGINALD: Not mine.

PHILIP: Uh-huh.

REGINALD: Can’t you get it? (Looks back into his phone.)

PHILIP: (Sighs.)


REGINALD: What is your problem?

PHILIP: You could get it.

REGINALD: What’s the issue?

PHILIP: There is no issue.

REGINALD: Why are you –

PHILIP: Didn’t you say you were inviting me out?

REGINALD: Yeah, but, you grabbed the check.

PHILIP: Yes, I grabbed check.


PHILIP: But you saw the check before I grabbed it.

REGINALD: You mean to tell me you just sat there waiting for me to take it?

PHILIP: Well, I mean, yeah.


PHILIP: I thought you were treating?

REGINALD: Wow, okay, fine. I’ll treat. (Reginald reaches inside his jacket for his wallet.)

PHILIP: But wait! Isn’t that what you told me earlier? Isn’t that why we came here?

REGINALD: We came here because we both like coming here.

PHILIP: I know.

REGINALD: This is our place.

PHILIP: Yes, I know it is –

REGINALD: And now you’re ruining it.

PHILIP: Ruining it? Ruining, what?

REGINALD: You’re intentionally trying to get me to block out all the good memories I have in this place because of how you’re behaving now…this CHARADE.

PHILIP: CHARADE? You’re the one playing a charade, dear.

REGINALD: Don’t you dare accuse me!

PHILIP: You saw the check.

REGINALD: Of course I saw the check.

PHILIP: I was in the bathroom and when I came back the check was already on the table Reginald. That gave you plenty of time to pay the bill.

REGINALD: So, what? Why the rush? You’re the one who ended up grabbing it!

PHILIP: Are you being serious right now, honey?

REGINALD: I’m always serious. Very serious.

PHILIP: You know what? I’ll take care of it.

REGINALD: No, you won’t!

Philip and Reginald both take hold of the bill, tearing it in half. They both hold one half of the bill.

PHILIP: You ripped it!

REGINALD: YOU ripped it!

PHILIP (Whispering hard.): People are beginning to stare.

REGINALD: Let them stare, I couldn’t give two sh’ts.

To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:

Charade Play Act by Joseph Arnone

In the one act eplay Charade, Philip and Reginald are out for dinner at their favorite restaurant but when the check arrives neither of them wish to pay it.  2 Men.  Serio-Comedy.

Purchase ePlay

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Joseph Arnone