He Goes On These Tirades
“He goes on these tirades” is the first line of dialogue starting this scene excerpt taken from the one-act play script Tirades of Pupeye.
Featured Scene – Tirades of Pupeye
LESTER: He goes on these tirades. Some form of speech or other after he has them pills I give him. Strange. Quite profound actually.
ARCHIE: I’ll say. Shocking, really.
LESTER: Aye.
ARCHIE: Never knew he could talk that way.
LESTER: Modern medicine works miracles, even for a flea brain such as Pupeye. But he can do complex math. Did you know that?
ARCHIE: No!
LESTER: Aye, aye he can. I put up one of them equations up on th’ board in the kitchen and the f’ckr solved it. This is a guy that doesn’t know how much two plus two is but yet he’s goin’ on solvin’ complex math.
ARCHIE: I don’t believe ya.
LESTER: I’m not puttin’ you on! And he’s been havin’ these philosophy spells, I call them. Out of the blue, really. I attribute it to them pills. Otherwise it’s like talkin’ to a frog on a daily basis.
ARCHIE: We just gonna leave him on th’ floor like that?
LESTER: Leave him be. He usually ends up there anyways on his own account. The floor is his friend.
ARCHIE: (laughs) What a headache you inherited mate.
LESTER: At least he keeps the bugs out of the place. Haven’t had one serious fight in th’ pub since he showed up.
ARCHIE: He comes in handy.
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Scene Summary
In the one act comedy eplay Tirades of Pupeye, Lester is a pub owner enjoying a conversation with his friend Archie when Pupeye enters the place. Pupeye works for Lester but Lester takes care of Pupeye, including making sure he takes his much needed pills.
- Genre: Comedy
- Length: ~5 minute scene
- Characters: 3 men
- Themes: husband / wife, party, event
- Best For: comedy scenes
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Scene Source: Tirades of Pupeye
Tirades of Pupeye is a comedy play script by Joseph Arnone, 2026.
