Neal…you could have been a star.
In comedy scene from, “Way Back When” Neal visits his agent’s office in order to find out why he didn’t keep the part offered him.
HANK: Contract is signed! Get that through your oversized head. It’s signed. You are done. It’s over. You’re out. It’s done! It is signed. Do you follow?
Neal sits back down and slumps.
Hank pours and hands Neal a glass of Grand Marnier.
Neal sips it calmly.
HANK(CON’D): Ever since you met Linda.
NEAL: Don’t go on at me about Linda –
HANK: It’s true, it’s true –
NEAL: I don’t wanna hear –
HANK: Should have never taken you to that party. How was I supposed to know she’d be there? But there she was, waiting for you. She did look stunning that night in her cream white dress; I’ll give you that, hard to resist. You got suckered by a pair of gorgeous tanned legs, pal. Sharp slicing scissors that have been cutting you down ever since.
NEAL: It’s not Linda’s fault.
HANK: Sure, it is.
NEAL: No, my lousy life isn’t her fault, it’s mine!
HANK: Whatever you wish to tell yourself, buddy. But I know one thing, Neal…you could have been a star. You’re right, this was the big one…this was your shot.
NEAL: (Getting angrier) What are you getting a rise out of me for? What do you want me to do – kill you first, Hank? You’re too bold for sayin’ that!
HANK: Alright. Alright. You’re right. Let’s hold our horses. Think rationally. I’m just as angry as you are right now. Sip your drink, I get back on the horn and we push.
NEAL: …I know it’s time, Hank. Look at me..you think I don’t know?
HANK: You…
NEAL: I know by taking one look at you what you’re really thinking. I’ve seen you give that look to other actors.
HANK: What look?
NEAL: The “It’s too late for you, kid” look.
HANK: That’s not –
NEAL: Hank, at least lie to me with honesty. (takes a pill)
HANK: Told you not in my office.
NEAL: F’k off, this one’s for anxiety.
Hank’s phone buzzes. His secretary’s voice.
EARL (speaker): Hank, you have Leonard here.
HANK (into phone): Why’s Leonard here?
EARL (speaker): He says it’s urgent.
HANK (to Neal): You wanna come back for lunch? We’ll –
NEAL: I wanna see the pr’k.
HANK: (In anger) Don’t start –
NEAL: I won’t.
HANK: I’m warning you! (to phone): Send him in. (to Neal) Or go wait outside.
NEAL: I won’t start nothing.
Enter Leonard.
HANK: Lenny, dear, what’s cooking?
LEONARD: Things are sizzling, Hank. (noticing Neal) …Hey, Neal…should I come back?
NEAL: I wanted to congratulate you on your show. Heard it’s a big deal.
LEONARD: Thanks, I mean, I hope you’re not sore about it.
NEAL: Why would I be sore about it? Ha, ha, ha. (shakes Leonard’s hand) I think it’s great. It’s great!
LEONARD: Yeah, but I sort of took the part from you.
NEAL: You what?
LEONARD: No, I know I kind of got aggressive.
NEAL: Aggressive?
LEONARD: I mean, no one could find you, right, Hank? And I was waiting in the wings, and the opportunity was there, so I took it.
NEAL: He took it, huh, Hank?
LEONARD: Before someone else did. What happened to you? Hank had a search party out for you.
NEAL: Did he? Well, I had some personal issues I was working out with my son.
LEONARD: Is he alright?
NEAL: Yeah, bit by a scorpion, but he’s better now.
LEONARD: No kidding.
- To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:
In the one-act eplay, “Way Back When ” Neal arrives at his agent’s office in Hollywood to find out that he’s been pushed out of a role he desperately wants. 2 Men. Comedy.
