Everything is too damn perfect.

Comedy scene from one-act eplay, “Blue Skies, Golden Sunshine”  wherein Norman is stressed over having the most perfect day of his life.

NORMAN: It’s too perfect of a day. Everything is too damn perfect. Why is that?

ALICIA: I’m not sure I follow your drift?

NORMAN: Nothing’s gone wrong! From the smallest thing to the biggest, everything seems to be amazing.

ALICIA: And you’re not happy about that?

NORMAN: Yes, well I should be happy, but it’s, a bit unusual, don’t you think?

ALICIA: I don’t see anything unusual about it.

NORMAN: Alicia, honey, please hear me out, okay? Be with me for just a moment.

Alicia places items back on the table and sits. Norman paces and puffs his cigarette.

I’ve had decent days, hell, even good days in my life. I’ve had terrible days too, but today, the thing about today is that it’s seamless; it’s the sort of day that is virtually impossible to take place. That’s how good we’re talking. It doesn’t sum up, and it can’t be coincidental; it’s too coordinated, too specific to my liking, as if someone or something made every effort to make certain that for some reason today was going to be the way that it’s been.

ALICIA: Norman?

NORMAN: Yes.

ALICIA: I have a surprise for you.

NORMAN: Surprise? What surprise?

ALICIA: I baked your favorite blueberry pie cake.

NORMAN: You did what?

ALICIA: I did!

NORMAN: Ww..why?

ALICIA: I felt like it.

NORMAN: Yes, but…

Alicia excitedly runs out of the room.

NORMAN (to himself) Blueberry pie? That’s my favorite cake in all the world.

Alicia enters the room holding up the blueberry pie and beaming from ear to ear.

ALICIA: Wait till you try this! (she sets the cake on the table) I was hoping you would pick up the scent. Haha. It’s why I kept you out of the kitchen.

Alicia cuts a slice and serves it to Norman.

NORMAN: I’m speechless.

ALICIA: Try it.

NORMAN: You sure?

ALICIA: Of course I’m sure. (she laughs)

Norman eats a bit from his fork.

NORMAN: Wow. I mean, wow!

ALICIA: YEAH?!

NORMAN: Holy –

ALICIA: Do you love it?

NORMAN: It’s..perfection…

ALICIA: I knew I nailed it this time.

NORMAN: Alicia, it’s incredible. (beat) Did you somehow know about my promotion?

ALICIA: Only when you told me.

NORMAN: Right.

ALICIA: Stop looking so deeply into things. Sometimes, when we look, we find things that aren’t true. The mind is so powerful, isn’t it? The imagination has a tendency to run away with us, and we can even believe what we imagine as fact. We have to be careful.

NORMAN: What did uh..what did you do today?

ALICIA: Chores.

NORMAN: But how was your day?

ALICIA: Not as good as yours.

NORMAN: Alicia, I’m being serious.  Well, look—I appreciate your lasagna tonight and baking this fabulous cake, and you are the love of my life; I couldn’t ask for another…but, I’m—there’s this off feeling that’s come over me that I am feeling plagued by. Wait a minute! What time is it? The lotto!

ALICIA: Oh, put on the tv!

Norman races to put on television. Norman and Alicia stand in front of the television, while Norman takes lottery tickets out of his wallet.

ANNOUNCEMENT HEARD:

Today’s quick pick numbers…FOUR, FOUR, FOUR, THREE, SEVEN. That’s FOUR, FOUR, FOUR, THREE, SEVEN. Good luck to today’s winner.

ALICIA: Well?! WELL?! DID WE WIN?

NORMAN: We won.

Alicia jumps up and down.

NORMAN: This is terrible.

  • To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:

Blue Skies Golden Sunshine by Joseph ArnoneIn the one-act eplay, “Blue Skies, Golden Sunshine” Norman comes home to his wife after the most perfect day he has ever lived in all his life.  1 Woman, 1 Man. Comedy/Serio-comedy. 

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