Pip’s Restaurant

In short comedy script, “Pip’s Restaurant”, Muggs has a crush on Sharon and soon finds out whether or not she likes him in return.

Pip’s Restaurant



MUGGS and JUDD stand outside Pips.

MUGGS:  Every time I ask Sharon to meet me at Pip’s, she never meets me.

JUDD:  That’s alright.

MUGGS:  Why is it alright?

JUDD:  Cause I’m here.

MUGGS:  Yeah. You’re here. I guess I’m destined to live a life by my lonesome.

JUDD:  You have Tricksy, haven’t you?

MUGGS:  I’m really not talking about you or birds, Judd, alright? I’m talking about a woman’s touch. Oh, forget it! I sound like an idiot talking to a bigger idiot.

JUDD:  Sorry, Muggs. So, you wanna go in and get some sandwiches?

MUGGS:  I do. My stomach’s been growling since 2pm. But I waited, I waited like a gentleman should wait and she never showed.

JUDD:  Third time.

Muggs gives Judd a look.

Just sayin’…I think it’s the third—

MUGGS:  It’s the fourth time, alright? So what?! I believe in second chances.

JUDD:  Yeah but this is number four.

MUGGS:  I know it’s number four, Judd! I just told you it’s number freaking four.

JUDD:  I was just sayin’.

MUGGS:  Do me a favor and stop saying.

JUDD:  Sorry, Muggs.


So, you wanna go get them sandwiches, then?

MUGGS:  Go on in. I’ll be a minute. I just want to cool off.

JUDD:  You hot?

MUGGS:  Yeah, I’m hot. If I get any hotter I’m liable to melt right here, all over the pavement. How do you like that?

JUDD:  I don’t like that at all, Muggs. I don’t want you to melt anywhere, especially right here in front of Pip’s, our most favorite place.

MUGGS:  …I’m alright. I won’t melt. Just sore about Sharon not showing up. I don’t get it. Whenever she sees me she’s all lovey dovey. Always smiling, always engaging me in conversation, always asking me how I am, always throwing hints to hang out. I give her a shot to meet with me, and she’s a no show!

JUDD:  I’m here.

MUGGS:  I know. I know you’re here, buddy. (beat) I’m glad you’re here. You know, you may be, well, you’re a special kind of guy.

JUDD:  Thank you, Muggs. Ain’t no one ever called me special before. Do you really mean those words? I’m special?

MUGGS:  Why, of course you’re special. You are the most special guy I’ve ever known. How do you like that?

JUDD:  I like that very much, Muggs.

MUGGS:  How about that roast beef sandwich?

JUDD:  Can’t wai—

SHARON arrives looking radiant.

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Pip's Restaurant by Joseph ArnoneIn short comedy script, “Pip’s Restaurant” Muggs is down because Sharon hasn’t shown up for lunch to meet with him and mutual friend Judd.  However, just when he thinks Sharon stood him up, she appears.  Although this makes Muggs happy, Sharon has surprising news to confide in him about.  1 Woman, 2 Men.  Comedy.

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Joseph Arnone