Easy peasy, Ralph?
“Easy peasy, Ralph?” starts this scene snippet taken from the one-act comedy eplay Grace Period about two roommates during a pandemic.
BURT (sarcastic): Easy peasy, Ralph?
RALPHY: Yeah, not complicated at all.
BURT: What makes you think I would want to go to my mother’s house with you?
RALPHY: Why wouldn’t you, should be the obvious question.
BURT: Because she’s NINETY-FIVE YEARS OLD and if she spends just one day with you, I WILL HAVE TO BURY HER!
RALPHY: That’s terrible the way you say that to me.
BURT: Cause you’re too much too handle Ralph. Listen, just go, go away to who gives a f’ck about anything land, let me work on this stupid movie—
RALPHY: Why don’t you take a break?
RALPH offers BURT the joint.
BURT: I can’t break, there’s deadlines I have to meet.
PHONE RINGS.
(sarcastically) Oh, look who it is…Leopold. I’ll put it on speaker, so you can see what I’m dealing with…
BURT puts phone on speaker.
BURT: Hello?
LEOPOLD (voice): Yesssss, hiya, hiya. How’s going there?
BURT gives Ralph a “see what
I mean” face.
BURT: It’s going good, very good.
LEOPOLD (voice): We finish.
BURT: No, no we, there’s still about a good two weeks of work left, Leopold.
LEOPOLD (voice): We finish.
BURT: …No, I’m only just getting started accumulating all this footage—
LEOPOLD (voice): We finish, we finish.
BURT: …What do you mean?
LEOPOLD (voice): Close.
BURT: Close?
LEOPOLD (voice): We finish, yeah, we close.
BURT: Do you mean the movie is finished?
LEOPOLD (voice): Ah, YES, yes.
BURT: We have a contract.
LEOPOLD (voice): No.
BURT: I still…what happens now?
LEOPOLD (voice): Uhhh, uhhhh—
BURT: Am I getting paid?
LEOPOLD (voice): Oh…(he laughs) Money, money, money. (clears throat) No.
BURT: What?
LEOPOLD (voice): Money, no, money, no. Finish.
LEOPOLD hangs up.
BURT: Hello? Hello? (to RALPHY) You believe this sh’t?
- To read the full one-act ePlay, find purchase link below:
In this one-act ePlay, Burt and Ralphy are stuck inside their apartment waiting for checks and losing work while bills pile up during a great pandemic. Serio-Comedy. 2 Men.