Asking Price
In comedy monologue, “Asking Price” Pamela tells her husband they must sell their house to have the money to get accepted back into society.
PAMELA: Why did you make such a bomb? It was bigger than a bomb. It was an asteroid that collided with Hollywood and destroyed every producer roaming the place. They won’t touch you; because of that post-apocalyptic sci-fi extravaganza. Youuu can’t get arrested, even if you turned yourself in, which you should, for all the damage you’ve caused us. (beat) I warned you, Jesse, I told you, “Stay away! Stay away!” But you wouldn’t listen. Giving me that labor of love crappp. Your labor of love has destroyed our lives. Fun fact, NO ONE wants to accept a dinner invitation. Haven’t you heard? I’ve sent out numerous invites for dinner at ours…crickets. We’ve lost our social standing. KABLOOEY! And yes, I know I’d be tired of Lucille whining about her beloved horse and its infected hoof, or Jezebel moaning about the difficulty of finding a yacht, or Tanya complaining about the trouble she’s having selling her worn-down casino in the middle of NOWHERE…but I miss them, I miss them so much; I want to hear their empty souls! I need it. I’m addicted to it. I have to suck it all in, Jesse, their shallowness, their greed, their selfishness, so that I can feel good about my own existence. Does that make me evil? Maybe, maybe…but it’s fun and it’s been taken away from me. I want it back, and we’ve got to sell this house to have it back!
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In serio-comedy one act play, “Asking Price” Pamela tries to convince her husband Jesse that they need to substantially lower their asking price if they are to sell their house. 1 Woman, 1 Man.
