Cave of Da Vinci

In short crime comedy script, “Cave of Da Vinci”, two burglars enter the wrong apartment and things turn upside down fast.

Cave of Da Vinci



Two BURGLARS enter an apartment. A man named FREDDY is sitting down with a cup of coffee. A gun rests on a nightstand beside him.

The two burglar men notice Freddy and freeze.

FREDDY:  Hey, boys…come in, relax. Grab a seat on the sofa.

Freddy sips his coffee.

It’s okay, the sofa won’t bite.

Both men sit.

Do me a favor and take those stupid nylon masks off your face, so I can look at you. What is this the seventies? (Freddy laughs) There you are. (beat) Coffee, anyone? A buddy of mine gets it sent to him from Cub aand I must say that the coffee beans from there are impeccable.Such a smooth taste. Would you gentlemen like a cup of Cuba?

MAN# 1:  No, thanks.

FREDDY:  Don’t be rude. Introduce yourself first before answering me…this way I know the proper way to address you.

TOBEY:  Tobey.

FREDDY:  No coffee, Tobey?

TOBEY:  No, thank you.

MAN #2:  What’s your name?

FREDDY:  My name? Excuse me, Freddy…

JACK:  I’m Jack.

FREDDY:  Nice to me you, Jacky Boy. Coffee?

JACK:  Sure.

Freddy shoots Jack in the forehead and sips his coffee.

FREDDY:  Tobey, it’s alright. These things happen. Breaking in and entering, it’s a tricky business.

TOBEY:  Jesus! Oh God!

FREDDY:  Yes, yes, I know. Was it your brother?

TOBEY:  Fff, fff, fff—

FREDDY:  Friend.

TOBEY:  Yeah!

FREDDY:  It’s okay. Want a cup of coffee?

TOBEY:  No! Oh God please no, no coffee.

FREDDY:  Okay, okay. So, what were you boys doing here?

TOBEY: Mmm, mmm, mmoney.

FREDDY:  You came to this dump for money?  Surely, you boys could have stepped up the real estate. There are plenty of neighborhoods just twenty miles east from where we’re sitting. That was a mistake, I’m afraid. (beat) Stop looking at him. He’s dead. Looking at him isn’t going to bring him back. Take that throw blanket and put it over him, if it will help you some. Go ahead…

Tobey is shaking. He can barely place the blanket over Jack.

I’ve always been a good judge of character. Jacky Boy had an attitude straight away and I can’t go in for that sort of thing, you know? Not where I come from. You, you are much more polite and well mannered. It goes a very long way with me.

Freddy lights up a smoke.


TOBEY:  No! No thank you, sir.

FREDDY:  Don’t be over polite, cause I don’t like that sh’t, either.

  • To read the full eScript, purchase link below:

Cave of Da Vinci by Joseph ArnoneIn the short crime/comedy Cave of Da Vinci, two burglars break into an apartment that belongs to a gangster who is having his morning coffee.  3 Men. Crime/Comedy.

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Joseph Arnone