Other Side of the Ocean

A look at an eccentric young couple learning to navigate together through life. 1 woman 1 man – romantic comedy type script.

Other Side of the Ocean

AVA:  Umm, Wisconsin, Wyoming, Montana…Milan!  Always wanted to go to Milan.

TUCKY:  Where’s Milan?

AVA:  Italy, dummy.

TUCKY:  How far is that?

AVA: Far, on the other side of the ocean.

TUCKY: Going east?

AVA: Going east.


AVA: That’s where I’m going to get married?

TUCKY: Where?

AVA: Milan.

TUCKY: …Okay…uh…how much this gonna cost?

AVA: Money should be no object.

TUCKY: But it is an object that is rectangular in shape and if I’m not careful can turn into a black hole.

AVA:  You said whatever I wanted.

TUCKY:  I did say that but I didn’t think you was gonna jump the ocean.

AVA: Well, I jumped.


AVA:  Don’t you wanna marry me, Tucky?

TUCKY: Course I do.  Ain’t interested in marrying myself.

AVA:  (singing) Milano!  Milano! We’re going to Milano!

TUCKY:  When ah, when we doing this thing?

AVA: Tomorrow!

TUCKY:  Girl you must be smoking the finest green.

AVA:  …Not tomorrow?

TUCKY:  I need time, I, I gotta work this out.  Do I gotta learn Italian now?

AVA: Wutch you mean LEARN?

TUCKY: You know, talk Italian.

AVA: Why would you have to talk Italian?  Ain’t you ever been anywhere ya whole sad life?

TUCKY: Well, been at the…ah, to ah…dag, I guess not.  But they got them, those ah, those language devices.  Wutch you call those?  You know, those digital devices that you speak into and it translates what you say into the language you want to say it in.  Ya seen those?

AVA: Nope.

TUCKY:  Sure you have, ya say something like, “Where can I get a pizza?” and the device supposed to ask that same question in Italian or any language you want.

AVA: Who cares?

TUCKY: I’m just sayin’. It’s good to know so we don’t have no troubles.

AVA: What trouble we ever gotten into anyways?  Maybe it be good for us to get some trouble going.

TUCKY:  Ava, Ava don’t start having those thoughts on me cause last thing we need is ending up in trouble in some foreign land.

AVA:  I want adventure.

TUCKY: Adventure is one thing, trouble is another.

AVA:  (singing) We going to Milano, Milano, Milano, we going to Milano, yeah, yeah, YEAH!

TUCKY:  Well, I’m glad you’re happy now.

AVA: I am as happy as can be!

TUCKY:  How much you think something like this cost though…for reals?

AVA:  Gonna cost what it’s gonna cost.

TUCKY:  I know but about how much you think?

AVA:  Fifty-thousand.

TUCKY:  Excuse me?

AVA:  You’re gonna spend fifty-thousand dollars.  I don’t know.  Maybe less, so you better figure it out.  Most girls spend a ton of cash on their wedding, a ton…I once read this article in the local paper about Darlene Wiggins, remember that bitch?  She was all dressed up in pretty white pearls and fine fabrics and her wedding was held at the Grand Ble Chateau.  It was recorded as the most expensive wedding ever held in this here town.

TUCKY:  But Ava, I can’t match Darlene Wiggins…her Daddy is the town judge and her husband—

AVA:  That’s why we going to Milano.  We gonna have a wedding and a honeymoon all rolled into one.

TUCKY:  But fifty-thousand…I’ll be in debt all my life…

AVA:  I’m sure we can cut a few corners.

TUCKY:  We gotta talk to some travel agent or something, I need to hear some figures from a professional.

AVA:  Okay, fine but maybe I’m exaggerating a bit.

TUCKY:  Are you?

AVA:  Truth be told, I am…it’s really not that bad, okay?

TUCKY:  I mean, I do love you and all but I can’t be buying you no Gucci bags and helicopter rides.

AVA:  That’s why I chose you Tucky.  I get any man I want and I chose you cause you’re sweet, honest, handsome and dumb enough for me to manipulate.


AVA:  You betcha.

TUCKY:  Well, I’ll be as dumb as you need girly, so long as you love me back.

Tucky picks her up and kisses her.

AVA:  I do love you back.

TUCKY:  You wanna get in my truck and speed on over to the travel place and ask some questions?

AVA:  Sure do.

TUCKY:  Let’s get to it.


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Joseph Arnone