You don’t seem to ever get past the thought.

Short serio-comedy scene from the play act The Arrangement, wherein Hardwicke confronts Carpenter about his inaction to fulfill his contract.

Featured Scene – The Arrangement

HARDWICKE: Tell me…how are things coming?

CARPENTER: Coming?

HARDWICKE: Along.

CARPENTER: Alright. I’ve been alright.

HARDWICKE: How’s the guest house?

CARPENTER: Good. The guest house is good.

HARDWICKE: Have all your amenities been sufficient?

CARPENTER: They have been..yes.

HARDWICKE: Well…

CARPENTER: Well…

HARDWICKE: When?

CARPENTER: Soon…

HARDWICKE: Soon…hmf!

CARPENTER: I should get on with the painting?

HARDWICKE: What for?

CARPENTER: You’ve asked me to –

HARDWICKE: The thing about killing somebody is that you can’t think about it, you just do it. As soon as a thought enters your mind, it’s all over. Complete inaction. You don’t seem to ever get past the thought. Five months. Five months of indecision coming from you, you’re weak! Your conscious gets the better of you with each attempt! Spineless. They said you were the one. They said I could count on you. Five months! …and now? Isn’t it all becoming a bit too late? (Beat.) Answer me, I say! Isn’t it all becoming a bit too late?

CARPENTER: It isn’t, too late.

HARDWICKE: You’ve given me too much time. In the beginning, in the very beginning the idea was raw, fresh, exciting, NEEDED! I was ready. You’ve kept me waiting. All I do is WAIT. Everything is a long drawn out WAIT with you. You are never prompt, never on time, never get anything done in a timely manner and now look, look it’s been five whole months and nothing, I—AM—STILL–HERE.

CARPENTER (Struggling to find the words.): …I find that I like it here.

HARDWICKE: You what?

CARPENTER: I find..that I..like it here. I feel safe here. It feels good to me…being here. I rise just before the sun begins to reveal itself. When sitting on the porch I expose my bare feet, allowing the sun to warm me, save me. I tread upon the grass and feel the Earth’s embrace. Nothing can harm me, nothing wishes to hurt me. Home. This has become my home. I’ve even had the thought about dying here. Naturally. Graciously.

HARDWICKE: Shouldn’t a man be allowed to choose the way in which he wishes to depart this world?

CARPENTER: And I wish for this place to be mine…so I could die here, of natural causes, of course.

HARDWICKE: I am talking about my death, not yours! Aren’t you too young to consider dying? Shouldn’t you be busy living?

CARPENTER: What for?

HARDWICKE: There are things to see, to do, experiences to have.

CARPENTER: Pointless.

HARDWICKE: When I was your age I was conquering the world.

CARPENTER: And was it conquered?

HARDWICKE: …Hardly.

CARPENTER: …Hardly.

• To read the full ePlay The Arrangement, find purchase button below:

Scene Summary

In the one act eplay The Arrangement, Hardwicke has been patiently waiting for his contract to be fulfilled, but Carpenter doesn’t seem to have any intention of honoring it.

• Genre: Serio-Comedy
• Length: ~5 minute scene
• Characters: 2 men
• Themes: contract
• Best For: serio-comedy scenes

FAQ

Related Serio-Comedy Scenes

• No flowers, not even a card. – from Milton’s Plight
• What do you do for a living? – from Over the Moon 
• Can I confess something to you? – from Waking Hours
• What story is it now? Aliens from outer space? – from You Wouldn’t Believe Ralphy
• Old Bobby invited me in for a meal the other night. – from Beer and Bobby’s Lasagna

Scene Source: The Arrangement

The Arrangement is a serio-comedy play script by Joseph Arnone, 2026.