Dead Girl

This script is a dark humor script. Two male characters, REX and BILLY and a third character, a dead woman.  

  • Download the free .pdf screenplay version: Dead Girl

REX sits on his couch, an emotional wreck. A ton of blow is on the table before him with a dead blond-haired woman laying face down in it. Keys heard jangling in a door. In walks BILLY.

BILLY: Unbelievable…

REX: Yeah…

Billy looks girl over.

BILLY: Jesus…how can you just leave her like this?

REX: I’m not good with dead people, man.

BILLY: When did you first notice her?

REX: Man, I woke up to take a piss and there she was. We went to bed together, so she must have gotten up during the night to do some more and she died.

BILLY: What the hell are we gonna do?

REX: I have no idea. It’s why I called you!

BILLY: Right. Right. Does anyone else know about this?

REX: Just you.

BILLY: Who is she?

REX: She’s actually Sysco‘s wife?

BILLY: …Sysco’s wife?! Gangster Sysco?!

REX: Yeah, man. Her phone’s been ringing nonstop. He keeps calling.

BILLY: This is so serious!

REX: She’s already starting to go stiff man, in case you wanted to wrap her up or something.

BILLY: I can’t believe this, Rex. Do you realize how insane this is right now?

REX: Yeah, yeah, yeah…

BILLY: How are we gonna get her out of here? We have to wait until nighttime.

REX: That’s what I was thinking. There’s a chute, a garbage chute that we can push her in and we can pick her up in the basement. Then we can bring the car over. Maybe roll her up in a carpet or something.

BILLY: Wait a minute!

REX: What?

BILLY: Sysco is probably geo locating her phone.

REX: No!

BILLY: We need to get rid of her phone right now.

REX: Should we break it or flush it down the toilet?

BILLY: You don’t flush it down the toilet man! We need to turn it off! Just switch off the GEO!

REX: Right, let’s do this! I got this, I got this!

There’s a knock on the front door. Rex and Billy stare at one another.

Joseph Arnone

Joseph Arnone is the founder and creative director of Monologue Blogger. He also makes films and theatre projects.